When I Kissed the teacher
by tokfia
Summary: What would happen if Hermione suddenly stood up in Potions and kissed her teacher?


Author's notes: This piece is first of all my first dedicated to HG/SS and my second or third all together, I think. It was also written a few weeks back under a frenzy I had where I just wrote on it all day, all through lessons and everything, brought on by listening to the song "When I kissed the Teacher" by Abba. Now, if this is crap then tell me so, I know that my writing in general isn't that good. Anyway, enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing you recognise is mine. Neither characters, kind of the plot or anything.

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

**"When I kissed the teacher"**  
  
"I have told you time and time again. You will just have to wait and see!"   
  
"But what if it is someone we don't like." Harry wanted to know.  
  
"Yeah, what if it's ferret face?" Ron chimed in and both boys made sounds of disgust.

Hermione sighed exasperatedly and said. "Well then maybe you should have thought about that last night?" Her two best friends could be really annoying at times. Mind you, she still loved them and she would follow them to the end of the world if need be. It was just that sometimes, like today, she wished she had just stayed alone. But then, today's badgering wasn't entirely their fault.

It was the punch's.

There had been a party in the Gryffindor Common room the night before and someone, she suspected Seamus, had spiked the punch. And as Head Girl she had had to be there all night to make sure the last stragglers got to bed properly. Which, of course, happened to be Harry and Ron. By that time both of them had had quite a lot to drink and for the later part of the evening they had been very charming towards her. But to no avail, she could admit to there being a time when she would have wanted them to see her for the girl she was, but not anymore. As a matter of fact, she had had her fair share of alcohol too through the punch, only she had thought it was the usual mix of pumpkin juice and butterbeer. Boy, had she been wrong. However, had it not been for this mornings terrible headache and horrible notion that there was something she had forgotten she might have forgotten all about it. But there was something, something very important. However it took her to her morning shower until she remembered.

The Dare.

Hermione's thoughts wandered back to the night before.

"Come on Hermione, don't be such a prissy," whined Ron.

"What did you call me?" She had just given up on the pair to get the last hours of sleep until she had to get up for school. Blimely, the sun was already rising, it must be later than she thought.

"Nothing, princess," He flashed her one of his dazzling smile that seemed to make every girl in the castle weak in the knees. Except of her that is, who knew exactly how many brain-cells were actually active behind that smile. "I just wish for your pleasurable company a little while longer." And then he gave her the puppy-dog-eyes. She had never been able to resist them.

"Oh, all right. But only for a few more minutes."

"Right." Ron smiled while pouring her another glass of punch and giving Harry a meaningful look.

"So, Hermione. Ron and I have noticed that you haven't had any boyfriends lately," said Harry.

"I haven't had any boyfriends in all the time you've known me. Well, except for the mistake sitting over there" She indicated Ron and was thinking of that miserable month in which they had dated at the beginning of their sixth year.

"Don't forget your thing with Krum." Ron reminded her.

"How many times do I have to tell you? There was never anything going on between Viktor and me. We were friends, we still are."

"Yeah, right."

"Actually yes." And while she tried her best she somehow couldn't find it in her to look admonishing "At least I don't change girls as often as I change shirts." Ron actually had the presence to look abashed.

"Well, anyway." Harry broke the awkward silence. "Ron and I were thinking of you and how you need to find yourself a decent bloke to get friendly with now that the war is over and everything. I mean, even I have Ginny now."

"You what?!?!"

"Now, Hermione, please don't get your knickers in a twist, we just want to help." Ron tried his best to sound consoling.

"Yeah, all that burying yourself in school books can't be healthy while there's a world to be lived in." Hermione closed her eyes and tried hard not to start hyperventilating.

"So you are saying that in favour of NEWT studies which I might remind you are coming up Very soon, I should be gallivanting after some bloke who doesn't know the difference between daisy-roots and the root of asphodel?" "No… I'm sure there are plenty of nice blokes in Ravenclaw that could be worthy of your attention."

"No."

"No, you don't even want to try or no, no you have looked and came up empty handed?" "No, there's nobody in Ravenclaw whom I could imagine myself with."

"Come on, Hermione. There must be someone somewhere that you have the hots for."

"First of all I would like you to know that I resent the phrase 'having the hots for somebody'. And second I guess there is someone that I like." 'Now, that's just splendid! What are you doing? Why did you have to go and tell them? You need to get yourself together girl. You will not, I repeat NOT tell them who it is or you are toast!'

"I knew it!"

"Who is it?"

"Is it anyone we know?"

"Is he here at school?"

"What house is he in?" She found herself bombarded with questions, each hitting closer and closer and closer to home. Shaking her head she closed her eyes and counted to ten very slowly.

"I will not tell you who he is, nor which house he is in. Only that I dare say you know who he is." Both boys went silent for a moment until Hermione decided that enough was enough and got up for the spiral staircase leading up to her Head Girl room with a warm, welcoming bed.

"Now, wait a minute. You're not trying to chicken out on this conversation, are you?"

"Why, yes I am. Especially since I have said enough on this subject and therefore this conversation is officially over. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed or, worse, expelled!" And with that she started walking up the stairs.

"You're right." Harry surprised her by saying. "We wouldn't want our dear Hermione to missing out on her beauty sleep, now would we?"

"I suppose you're right. However, I would very much like to find out who he is."

"Me too. I'll tell you what. Hermione would you come back here for a moment?" Hermione stopped walking upwards and looked down on them. She didn't yet know if she really wanted to hear what they had to say.

"This bloke we're talking about, he goes to school here, right?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Well then, I dare you to kiss this mystery bloke of yours before this week is over. And we need to see it. Ron, how much would you bet on her?"

"Aw, I don't know. It depends on who he is." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"What makes you so sure I'll even accept the dare?"

"Because I'm betting 1 galleon you will make it." Ron declared simply. And somehow she found herself agreeing to take on the dare. Something she found herself bitterly regretting now. How could she have been so stupid? She was, however not one to back down on a challenge. It was just that all the other challenges she had faced so far had been either academical or helping Harry defeat Voldemort. This was something entirely different. How was she ever supposed to manage? 'I guess I'll just have to stand up and do it.' she told herself. 'But what if he…?' she didn't want to finish that question. Really, that had to be the worst decision she had ever made. Agreeing to go a long with this, this abomination. Here she had spent years, literary on trying to make him se her. Not the bucktoothed little overachiever she had once been but the brilliant young woman she had become. She could have passed her NEWTs last year with flying colours. And yet he had refused to acknowledge her. Perhaps it was the time to do something about it? Although this was not the way she would have chose to get his attention, had she had the ability to chose. 'But you don't have much of a choice do you?' the annoying, nagging voice in her head told her. 'Don't you think I know that?' she answered it exasperatedly. And luckily, before it got the chance to answer back to her she, Harry and Ron had arrived outside the Potions classroom. Seconds later Professor Snape came, robes swirling and let them in. The three took their usual seats in the back, waiting for Snape to begin the lesson.

"Today," he began, his face twisted in a sneer. "You will brew the Affectus Fortissimus Potion. Who can tell me its properties?" Hermione, as usual, raised her hand but made sure she stayed firmly on her stool. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"The Affectus Fortissimus Potion is a strong mind potion that makes the drinker express his or her strongest feeling at the moment after consuming the potion. The key ingredient of…"

"Thank you, Miss Granger. That will be quite enough." He waved his wand. "The ingredients are on the blackboard. Get going." The class scrabbled to life. Hermione gathered her ingredients and settled into a fairly efficient working rhythm. This she knew, mincing, chopping, stirring; the plants were her friends. A few times Snape came prowling by and hovered over her, looking for a reason to take off house points. Of course there were none now that Neville had dropped potions in favour of advanced Herbology, but she still felt her heart beating a little faster every time he came by, and after he was done with her he moved over to Harry and took the points from him instead. Harry who, bless his heart, had to take Advanced Potion for his Auror training.

"You should have finished your potions by now. Bottle them up and put them on the front-side of your desktops. I think we will have a surprise test of your potions." He paused. "Why don't we start with whoever was first? Oh, yes. Our resident little know-it-all."

'This is it.' Hermione thought. 'This is the one chance I'll get.' Malfoy sniggered when Professor Snape walked toward her, a malicious smile playing on his lips. She waited until he was hover over her desk again. Then she looked him steadily in the eyes said: "Bottom's up" and drank her concoction. It had a vile taste that threw her of track for a moment or two, but when her head cleared she know exactly what she had to do. She felt like she was moving around in jelly, standing up and taking a hold of his neck. Then, moving in for the kill, she got up on tiptoe, and pressed her lips against his. Lightly at first and then deepening it as she met no resistance. It was wonderful and she felt like she had reached the seventh heaven. But as suddenly as the thought had occurred to her she broke the kiss and the spell was broken. Snape pushed her away, wide eyed 'and, was that a blush on his cheek?'. Only now did she hear the hooting and cheering from her classmates, with the notable exception of Harry and Ron who were just sitting there, mouths hanging wide open. Snape recovered quickly, the malicious smile once again dominating his features.

"Well, that was quite a demonstration, Miss Granger. I suppose you think that was funny."

Heartened by the kiss she looked up and locked eyes with him. "Yes, as a matter of fact I do." Never breaking eye contact Snape called out.

"Class dismissed. Miss Granger, stay behind." The students shuffled out behind them. Harry and Ron were hesitantly waiting for her by the door, not wanting to leave her alone with Snape. He was acting very bizarre.

"Will you be ok, Hermione?" Harry called out.

"Yes, yes. Just go already." She said, still not wanting to break eye contact.

"Ok, we'll see you in the common room then." Ron said hesitantly going out, closing the door on the way out.

"Now, I do believe an explanation would be appropriate."

"What is it you don't understand?"

"Your behaviour today. What on earth possessed you to act like that?"

"I would think that that was quite clear by now." She was beginning to feel a bit disheartened.

"What is this, the Head Girl having and infatuation with the most loathed teacher in school?" She blushed. "Tell me, Hermione," he used his silkiest voice. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since my fifth year, sir. When I realised what you did for the Order my respect for you increased and it developed from there." A flicker of emotion crossed his face. Was it anger, hurt, or something entirely different? She took a tentative step forward. He didn't step back.

"You know I could have you expelled for what you did."

"No, you couldn't. It was an accident." She took another step.

"An accident, Miss Granger?"

"Yes, I never meant to tell you how I felt. And certainly not in that way." With yet another step she was now only a foot away from him. "But now that I have, I'm kind of glad I did."

"And why is that?" He closed the distance between them so that she could feel the rush of air when he spoke to her.

"Well, I feel like this weight has been lifted from my shoulders and there's a waterfall just rushing through me and"

"For once in your life, Miss Granger. Hold your tongue." And he kissed her once more.

¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨

"Everybody screamed when I kissed the teacher   
And they must have thought they dreamed when I kissed the teacher   
All my friends at school   
They had never seen the teacher blush, he looked like a fool   
Nearly petrified 'cos he was taken by surprise   
When I kissed the teacher   
Couldn't quite believe his eyes, when I kissed the teacher

My whole class went wild   
As I held my breath, the world stood still, but then he just smiled   
I was in the seventh heaven when I kissed the teacher

One of these days   
Gonna tell him I dream of him every night   
One of these days   
Gonna show him I care, gonna teach him a lesson alright

I was in a trance when I kissed the teacher   
Suddenly I took the chance when I kissed the teacher   
Leaning over me, he was trying to explain the laws of geometry   
And I couldn't help it, I just had to kiss the teacher   
  
One of these days   
Gonna tell him I dream of him every night   
One of these days   
Gonna show him I care, gonna teach him a lesson alright

What a crazy day, when I kissed the teacher   
All my sense had flown away when I kissed the teacher   
My whole class went wild   
As I held my breath, the world stood still, but then he just smiled   
I was in the seventh heaven when I kissed the teacher 

(I wanna hug, hug, hug him)   
When I kissed the teacher   
(I wanna hug, hug him)   
When I kissed the teacher   
(I wanna hug, hug, hug him)   
When I kissed the teacher   
(I wanna hug, hug him)   
When I kissed the teacher   
(I wanna hug, hug, hug him)"  
- When I kissed the Teacher by Abba


End file.
